RIVERDALE IS BACK, BABY, and the BSG team is back on it again. Well, Mary and Kelli are back, anyway, recapping this trash show until the cows come home.
Riverdale’s 27th chapter is entitled “The Hills Have Eyes.” If we’re to believe that this entire show is actually the novel Jughead is writing, does that mean he’s naming all of his chapters titles after movies? In that case, it’s even more of a gimmick than we thought. Here at BSG, we’ve been referring to this episode by a much different name — Chapter 27: “Sex Weekend.” Feel free to steal that for the second draft of your manuscript, Juggy.
Hello, Riverdale fans and victims! As we prepare for some exciting things on the Book Squad horizon, Mary takes control of the recap yet again. While she misses Kelli horribly, she's doing her best to keep you abreast of all the moving and shaking happening in our favorite hot mess of a show. This week, we're breaking things up by character yet again, because this show loves nothing more than rando one second scenes. Join us after the cut for more drama than a pit full of serpents.
Sadly, Kelli is out this week and I’m left driving the Riverdale train. As always, it’s a wild ride, and I’m trying out a different format for recaps, tackling one character at a time. As a show notorious for super-short scenes and an interlaced plot, Riverdale is sometimes hard for me to recap coherently. Let us know what you think about this format! We’re always trying to make things better for you, our reader.
Riverdale is struggling after returning from it’s mid-season break, and the newest episode is no exception. Archie is still stuck in a weird mob-like predicament and Chic coaches Betty on how to be a cam-girl as the Serpents deal with an internal power struggle against its members. Oh, and Veronica is getting confirmed in the Catholic church, too, for some reason. All this and more on this week's episode of Riverdale, “The Wicked and the Divine!”
This week, Riverdale takes on a surprisingly timely topic: the preservation of racist monuments. In Chapter 24: The Wrestler, the annual celebration of Riverdale’s glorified founder prompts Jughead to investigate the town’s history, and his findings shed light on the deeply unsettling truth about the origin of Riverdale.
If a careful consideration of historical whitewashing seems too weighty a topic for Riverdale to focus an entire episode on, don’t worry — with tiny wrestling outfits, a lot of sweat, and a deeply sexual physical confrontation between Archie and Hiram Lodge, this chapter certainly earns its title. Plus, we find out more about Chic’s mysterious occupation! Spoiler alert: it’s pretty much what you thought it would be.
So, without further ado, Kelli and Mary present this week’s edition of the BSG Riverdale Recap!
HELLO RIVERDALE FANS AND HOSTAGES! Have you missed our favorite trash teens over this long winter hiatus? Us too! We missed them so much that Mary completely forgot about last week’s episode and just caught up today. That’s right — if you thought Season 2 of everyone’s favorite CW garbage fire ended with the Christmas special, you were mistaken, because we’re only halfway through. (We’re not crying. You’re crying.)
So, what happens when you put a Serpent in a Riverdale uniform? How badly was Nick St. Clair really injured in that car accident a few episodes back? And what ever happened to that bastard child Alice Cooper put up for adoption? Find the answers to these questions and more in this: our first Riverdale Recap of 2018.
This past week, Riverdale gave us its first ever Christmas episode. I want you to think about this for a second: this entire show started at the beginning of the Riverdale school year. That means that everything we’ve seen since the very first episode of this show has taken place over the course of less than five months. Just soak that in.
Silent Night, Deadly Night is not just a Christmas episode, but it’s also the mid-season finale (which means that we’re only halfway through this shit, people). Because it’s the last episode for a couple of weeks, a LOT went down, but don’t worry — I’m here to outline every stupid detail for you.
Sadly, Mary was not able to join in on this particular adventure, so this week the thoughts and hot takes are all mine. That being said, please enjoy this very special and very long Christmas edition of the BSG Riverdale recap.
On this past week’s episode, "Tales from the Darkside," Riverdale plays with a new format inspired, we can only assume, by the 1980s horror series of the same name. Admittedly, I hadn’t heard of Tales from the Darkside before I googled it today, but a Twilight Zone-esque anthology series created by none other than George A. Romero seems more than worthy of checking out. In fact, it might even be a better show than Riverdale.
Okay, it’s most likely a better show than Riverdale, but… we’re still here.
The episode opens with a static title card informing us that what we’re about to witness is a retelling of the “tragic events that befell the town of Riverdale,” and without further ado, we’re dropped into the action. Join us, won’t you, for our recap of these… TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE.
What do you get when you combine pixie sticks, teenage groping, multiple The Godfather references, a police raid, a gang meeting by candlelight, toxic masculinity, and a pair of really cute overalls? Answer: A STREET RACE!
Yeah, guys, we just... we don't even fucking know anymore.
This week, Mary and Kelli are back to sum up yet another episode of everyone's favorite teenage trashfire: RIVERDALE. We have decided that we're kind of digging the split-episode format, so for this episode, Mary takes on the first half and Kelli brings it on home.
Mary here! This week, Kelli can’t be here to recap our favorite hot mess of a show, Riverdale, but don’t worry—I've got you covered.
This week, I’m talking about Episode 2:4, “The Town that Dreaded Sundown.” Let’s start with the title, which takes its name from a 1976 slasher movie that none of these kids has probably ever seen. The film features a serial killer terrorizing a small Texas town with an incompetent police officer trying to track him down. HMMMMM. Some similarities here.
I’m going to try something different this week and tackle the episode plot by plot. The show itself is comprised of many, many short scenes, often interlaced to show all the different plot threads going on.
Spoilers to follow the cut.
“The Watcher in the Woods” is the third episode of Riverdale’s second season, and with sex jogging, poorly-named rival gangs, and even more jingle jangle, things in our favorite trash-fire of a town are only getting more trash-fire-y. This week, due to Halloween-related scheduling conflicts, Kelli and Mary skip their usual chat format and instead bring you a recap in two parts, with Mary’s take on the first half of the episode and Kelli’s on the second.
We’ve got a lot to cover, so buckle up, people — and make sure to grab your baseball bat.
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The authors of this blog are four women with opinions about pop culture. That's all you really need to know.