"If I need to sell a noodle, cast me."
Selfie Mail arrives and Tyra says, “It’s time to make some moves.” Everyone’s like, “We’re dancing.” Shanice is feeling good about it because she danced in high school. Kyla is feeling like that scared face emoji about it because she can’t dance.
Honestly I’m just glad to have a break from Bachelor programming to be here for some #nextlevelfierce models. Let’s do this. Episode 8. Go!
Rio is the topic of discussion at the model house. Shanice calls her “the biggest hater.” (Remember when she attacked Sandra for being pretty? Apparently she says other mean shit too.) Kyla says that she overheard Rio call her “stupid,” which upsets her because she’s struggled with this particular put-down after suffering a traumatic brain injury in high school.
Jeana, Rio’s BFF in the house and all-around badass bitch, overhears this conversation and tells Rio. Rio acts really confused and seems to not remember calling Kyla stupid. I wouldn’t even recap these silly discussions if they didn’t come up later, so hold tight.
I’m back from a brief recapping hiatus to bring you these highlights and lowlights of the past week’s episode. Here’s most of what you need to know about Episode 6 (Beauty is Pride) from the previous week: Jeana and Khrystyana were standouts. Liberty went home. Moving on now.
As if we couldn’t tell from that episode title (and yeah, they really are sticking with that format for the whole season), it’s clear this is going to be an emotional episode from the opening scenes. Brendi K. talks to camera about her unsupportive mother. And Jeana, Erin and Rio have a really tough conversation in the hot tub where Erin shares that her son’s father passed away from cancer. She left him while he was sick and he died a year later, and she is carrying a lot of guilt for that.
Last week after panel, Tyra hinted at a “raw” photoshoot. Everyone assumes this means nude.
These episode titles are starting to be a little meh for me. And in case this title made you think you could expect some seriously unconventional stuff, think again. It’s really not that unconventional at all.
Ashley Graham shows up to the house to talk about unconventional beauty and how it’s a great time in the modeling industry because it’s finally embracing all body types, skin colors, etc. She asks the models how their beauty is unconventional. Jeana talks about her baldness and being a voice for anyone with hair loss. Coura talks about how she’s struggled with appearing too masculine. Rio had some body issues and remembers that she was not recognized as “pretty.” Sandra is like, I’m really pretty so idk what to say. *shrug*
Time for a special guest!
Big-time beauty vlogger Patrick Starr arrives. He tells them this week’s challenge: The models will make a beauty vlog alongside Patrick Starr using unconventional items as beauty tools. Teams of two (and one team of three) will compete for the chance to have their vlog featured on Starr’s channel. There will be an individual winner who gets a “special advantage” in the upcoming photoshoot. Every team only gets one take. Aaaaaaand go!
When I see this episode title, my first thought is, God I hope that means someone’s gonna fight. Hopefully over something political.
Back in the model house, we get a little recap of the Liz/Brendi K. drama from the backstage footage from the previous episode where Liz calls Brendi K.’s family “crazy.” She acknowledges this wasn’t cool and tries to (sort of) apologize. Brendi’s like, nah girl. Let’s just keep away from each other. I’m thinking If this is the drama I was promised, I am already dissatisfied.
Apparently last week they found out they are doing screen tests this week, so they’ve had lines since the night before they’ve had to practice. Also: holy shit. Panel was just the night before? Is all of this just one day at a time? Have they only been there for like…five days? Mind blown.
All ANTM fans know that the makeover – ahem, excuse me – Ty-over episode is one of the best of every cycle. 95% of the time, the model looks so much better after. Occasionally, there’s a really bad one (remember the beard weave?). But there’s always drama and always, always crying.
Everyone knows the second episode of any ANTM is where things really get started. We’ve got the core group of models ready to go and the challenges can begin. We also get to see the intro for the first time. And I’ve gotta say, I really like this cycle’s intro. The cheesy song is gone, the new music is cool, and it has a super modern feel that showcases the models’ personalities through several poses. There’s just a little hint of that classic na na na na na na (you know the tune if you’ve ever watched a season) at the end to remind us that Tyra is back and this is classic ANTM, minus the stupid “Wanna be on top?” stuff.
We get started in the model house, which has the coolest effing balcony overlooking Los Angeles. The girls are chatting about their photos from the first episode, and it becomes clear that people are kind of annoyed with Maggie’s “white homegirl” stuff. Get ready. This is a theme of the episode. The other models can tell she’s putting on a personality that changes pretty often, and they’re not very into it. Coura says, “I don’t know if she’s just trying to relate to whatever culture she’s around, but that doesn’t relate to me.” Same.
Finally. Ty Ty is back in our lives. (But she called herself Ty Ty early in this episode, which makes me never want to call her that again.)
So Queen Tyra is back at the helm of the show she calls “her baby,” America’s Next Top Model. Tyra is clearly still the centerpiece of this jam. The first episode of Cycle 24 (holy shit, are there really that many?) begins with Tyra reclaiming her throne and reminding us all how ANTM has redefined beauty and celebrates all types of bodies and skin colors. That’s kind of a big statement, but sure, let’s go with it. I just want to get to the photoshoots.
It’s November, which means it’s almost December. Which means it’s almost time for Tyra Banks to return to America’s Next Top Model for Cycle 24. I’ll be recapping the return season week by week, but until Tyra is back in all her glory, here’s a look back at all of the most underrated models from my favorite Tyra-hosted cycles.
Elyse Sewell (Cycle 1)
That snake photo. This is all that needs to be said about Elyse. Look at it. Though she placed third in the competition, she went on to have a very successful modeling career, mostly in Asia.
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The authors of this blog are four women with opinions about pop culture. That's all you really need to know.