"If I need to sell a noodle, cast me."
Selfie Mail arrives and Tyra says, “It’s time to make some moves.” Everyone’s like, “We’re dancing.” Shanice is feeling good about it because she danced in high school. Kyla is feeling like that scared face emoji about it because she can’t dance.
This episode focuses a lot on the cliques in the house among the remaining six women. The basic breakdown is: Jeana and Rio in one clique and everyone else in another. This is the episode where Shanice comes right out and says she doesn’t like or trust Jeana or Rio because they’re both cocky and arrogant and they talk shit about the other models.
Ashley Graham introduces movement coach Jermaine Browne, choreographer for the Victoria’s Secret runway. I’ve been legit impressed with the people they’ve brought on this season, and Jermaine did not disappoint.
First he asks the ladies to show their natural movement, and the results are all over the place. Jeana does an actual dance but doesn’t really model. I mean, she does the splits at the end, which is impressive, but not what this is about. Brendi looks like she’s chewing gum, and when Jermaine points this out twice, she gets all upset and Brendi about it. Shanice is the accidental breakout star of this part because she does some crazy ass arm movement that looks funny, but in true Shanice style, she owns that shit and laughs about it too. Witness:
Jermaine teaches the models a short a routine that they’ll have to perform alongside him and their photos will be captured in motion. There’s a little lift involved. Khrystyana is like “I’m kind of a heavy girl. You don’t lift me.” Lol. Winner gets to keep her outfit and pick a friend to have a spa day. Everyone gets one take. Go!
Ashley tells Shanice that Shanasty has to come out, and she does! Shanasty is back, y’all!
Jeana kills it. Brendi forgot to pose at all and starts pouting AGAIN. Kyla was super uncoordinated. Her take on her own movement: “My legs look like two noodles. My arms look like two noodles. And now I know iff there’s like, a ballet casting, I just shouldn’t go. But if I need to sell a noodle, sign cast me.” Lol.
Jeana and Shanice were the standouts, but Jeana wins. She of course picks Rio to join her for the spa day. Everyone’s annoyed.
When they come back in the house from their cryotherapy spa day, Rio and Jeana walk into the other girls playing a game. Jeana says hi and asks what the others are doing. And Brendi says, “None of your business.” It’s clear there’s a lot of tension between the two groups, but Rio and Jeana handle the shade pretty well and just go outside and sit in the hot tub.
Brendi is really focused on how the competition is too much for her and says she wants to go home. Erin tries to give her some tough love and tells her to focus on the positive, but Brendi says she doesn’t even know how to do that because most of her life has been negative experiences. They all hug her while she cries, which is super sweet, but she still wants to go home.
PHOTO SHOOT TIME
They go out to the desert for their photoshoot. Drew explains that the models be working with a parachute while a ton of wind blows on them. All I can think about is how much sand would be in my eyes and everywhere else. Nah thanks.
While the models are getting hair and makeup done, the wind kicks up and some of the tents get tossed in the air. Jeana got hit in the back of the head and has sand in her eye (I think she said she scratched her cornea?). Shanice thinks this is all bullshit and says the tent didn’t even hit Jeana but that “she deserves an Oscar after that performance.” When the footage is played back, it doesn’t look like Jeana was hit, but that would be a weird thing to make up.
Once again, the wardrobe for this shoot is amazing. All the clothes look so fantastic in the wind and against the backdrop of the parachute.
Highlights: Drew sings Shanice’s praises the entire time and said she was doing everything right. Jeana asked if she could take off the heels they put her in so she could move better. Drew’s like, “Ok, but you have to be tall.” She wasn’t very tall. BUT her dress is giving me Divine vibes from Pink Flamingos. That’s enough for me, but Drew said she looked like a pageant mom.
Tyra looks fantastic in this episode. Get it, girl. Now let’s judge some thangs.
Shanice: Drew loves it. Tyra says, “You’re Cinderella. This is stunning. This is supermodel quality posing.” I’m so proud of Shanice and I want to be her friend.
Kyla: Ashley doesn’t like her positioning. Law says she looks amazing. Tyra doesn’t like it much either.
Erin: Ashley wants it to be more elevated. Tyra likes her body though.
Rio: Law said it’s “absolutely gorgeous as a long shot” but doesn’t like her face because you can tell she’s uncomfortable. Tyra said she didn’t know Rio was capable of being so feminine.
Khrystyana: Ashley says, “You look fantastic. You’re in command of that dress and the parachute at the same time.” Drew says, “You have a unique ability to bring clothes to life.”
Jeana: Law said, “I don’t really like it.” Drew explains that she looks short because of the shoe situation. They said her pose was very “flamenco emoji” and seems like the obvious thing to do in that dress. Drew says, “This look is worth millions, but if you cheapen it, it’s worth nothing.”
Brendi: Before anyone can even look at her photo, she tells them she needs to leave to take care of herself. They tell her they’re proud of her for putting her health first, and everyone says goodbye. Then Tyra’s like “Ha we’re still eliminating someone so don’t get comfy” (paraphrasing).
Best photo: SHANICE! Finally!
Runner up: Khrystyana. Still killing it.
Bottom 2: Kyla and Jeana. Uh oh.
Tyra to Jeana: “Your beauty is one thing, but your execution of your beauty is another.”
Tyra to Kyla: Your posing has a heaviness and “every now and then you come alive.”
Tyra is a little trickster because THEY’RE BOTH STAYING. Whew. That was mildly stressful, but I’m glad we’re all ok.
See you next week for an episode that will definitely be titled “Beauty is ________.” Let’s end on this gif of Khrystyana looking amazing:
Yours in #nextlevelfierceness,
About the Blog
The authors of this blog are four women with opinions about pop culture. That's all you really need to know.